i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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