I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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