butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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