Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
