we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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