so that wasnt chicken after all
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
