if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
