how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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