spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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