I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
