Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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