Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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