the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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