Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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