Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
