I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
