Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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