I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
