The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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