you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
