i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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