is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
