even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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