Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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