Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
