My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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