How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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