There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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