Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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