May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
