I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
