I heard we made out
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
