Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I sprained my soul last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
