I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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