so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Oh god it's open bar.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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