apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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