how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
