ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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