grandma shit on top of the toilet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
