Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
