i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
