Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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