Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
