Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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