We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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