just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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