the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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