I wannas sexs uuuuu
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
