His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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