the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You ruined the universe
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize