I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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