Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize