Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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