then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
