Your mouth is God's brothel.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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