dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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