i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
