oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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