He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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