Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
