HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize