Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
