it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
