apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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