hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
