the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize