You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize