Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Your cock deserves a montage
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
