She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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