He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
