I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
