That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
