capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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