trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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